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Tag Archives: friend requests

The Lost Art of the Facebook Friend Request

28 Friday Mar 2014

Posted by ghosteye3 in humor, media, observations, satire, Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Facebook, friend requests, friends, satire, self help, social media

Hello Friend,
How many times have you sent or accepted a friend request on Facebook without an accompanying me-to-you message? Seems kind of cold and impersonal, doesn’t it? Here are Roth Communications LLC, we believe that the Facebook friend request has been commoditized, and we think that’s a shame. A request for friendship should have more feeling and nuance to it than, say, clicking on the “add to my cart” button on Amazon.

untitledAt the same time, we realize that people don’t always have the time or creative energy to send a warm, thoughtful message along with their friend requests. That is where we come in. Below is just a sampling of suggested editorial we can provide that will add sincerity and emotional depth to your friend requests. Try a few of these out and be amazed at the nurturing, fulfilling relationships you will cultivate on Facebook. These are equally effective in making connections on LinkedIn and other social media as well. (Tip: to craft a more appropriate message, replace the words in the parentheses with more personal information).

Here we go:

Hey (Angela),
This is awkward because I know we haven’t spoken since (prom night in 1989), but I saw your profile and I thought that we should connect. Over the years, I’ve thought a lot about you and some of the good times we had. I feel bad about the way things ended for us so many years ago. I hope we can start a new chapter. Are you (single)? It looks like from your photos that you’re (single). Just curious.  – (Allen)

* * *

Hi (Geoffrey)—
We don’t know each other well, so I hope you don’t think this is too forward, but I really enjoyed talking to you about (risk management) during the (American Association of Accounting Conference) in (San Francisco). I thought you had some compelling ideas and I wanted to be sure to follow up with you. Incidentally, I am also (starting a job search) and would value your thoughts on (any possible openings at your company). I hope you are well and I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards, (Tina)

* * *

Hello (Brett)
Remember me? We were in (seventh period biology) together in (ninth grade). I think you also (dated my best friend) for a short period of time. No worries if my name doesn’t ring a bell. It’s just that we share (43) mutual friends and your profile pic keeps popping up on my news feed. Facebook clearly wants us to be friends, so I’m sending you a request. All the best, (Alicia)

* * *

(Jennifer),
We haven’t talked much. I think we chatted one time (in the hallway) about (that marketing campaign you were working on). But I feel it’s important that I “friend” important (coworkers) like you because (that is apparently a big part of getting ahead in this company). I hope you will accept my friend request. See you (in the hallway)!
–Derek

* * *

What’s up (Katy)?
How you doin’, stranger? I saw your name pop up on Facebook and, I must admit, you (still look pretty damn fine). Have you been (working out)? It sure looks like it. Things are okay with me. I finally (split up with Jessica). Big shocker there, huh? Let me know if you (want to get together for drinks sometime). It’s been a few years, but I really miss (our conversations about classical music). Hope you’re doing well. Friend me, please! Your buddy, (Spencer)

 

Good luck, and happy friending!

 

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