Sometime between 7 and 8 a.m. – Wake-up time. Roll out of bed and instantly turn on iPad.
8 a.m. – Breakfast: choice of Strawberry Pop-Tart, re-heated chocolate chip pancake, or Dad’s Grape-Nuts cereal.
8:10-9 a.m. – Back to iPad. Check in with friend on Facebook Messenger about cool new iPad game in which you create your own iPad games.
9-9:40 a.m. – 40 minutes of reading time.
9:20 a.m. – Negotiate with parent to do 20 minutes of reading time now, then 20 minutes after dinner, knowing that parent will be too distracted by Entertainment Tonight after dinner to enforce the agreement.
9:30 a.m. – Log on to school iPad to touch base with teacher and begin the day’s agenda of summer school assignments.
10 a.m. – Summer school assignments are completed. Run upstairs to complain about how there’s nothing to do and summer is boring.
10:15 a.m. – Draw a picture of a Fennec fox or a mythical creature.
10:20 a.m. – Stare emptily at half-finished Lego set that hasn’t been touched since 2014.
10:25 a.m. – Briefly contemplate changing out of pajamas.
10:30-11:45 a.m. – iPad games on Messenger with friends.
11:45 a.m. – Lunchtime, consisting of either PB&J sandwich or microwavable mini-pizzas, accompanied by chocolate milk, off-brand chips and applesauce left over from school lunch pickups.
12 noon – Outdoor time! Wander the neighborhood sidewalks with Dad. Climb a tree. Put on roller blades and skate around for about two minutes.
12:30 p.m. – Change out of pajamas into shorts, camouflage Crocs and a “Weekend Warrior” T-shirt.
12:45 p.m. – Pester parents about going outside to play with friends.
12:50 p..m. – Parents insist that friends are still busy with school work and it’s too early to bother them.
12:51 p.m. – Doorbell rings. Friend wants to play. Tear out of the front yard with friend like a pair of escaped inmates from a Victorian-era lunatic asylum.
12:51 – 2:50 p.m. – Splash around in friend’s inflatable pool from Menards. Cross the street and splash around in another friend’s inflatable pool from Menards.
2:50 p.m. – Come home to badger parents about turning on sprinkler system to run through, “Because it’s summer, Mom.”
2:55-3:30 p.m. – Run through sprinklers with friends. Lay on Minion towels stretched over the hot driveway. Talk ruefully about those lost days when kids had to leave their homes to sit at a desk inside a concrete building for eight flipping hours.
3:30 p.m. – Parent emerges to announce that online tutoring lesson is in 30 minutes and that, no, he hasn’t forgotten about the 20 minutes of reading after dinner.
3:30-4 p.m. – Complain about the unfairness of tutoring during these precious, fleeting summer days.
4-5 p.m. – Slap on a happy face and plow through another soulless tutoring session.
5-6 p.m. – A brief window of freedom, dragging friends up and down the sidewalk in Dad’s collapse-able red wagon with the fancy cup holders.
6 pm. – Tonight’s dinner: pork chops, mac & cheese, and sweet potato fries made in Mom’s new air fryer oven.
6:30 p.m. – Parents consumed by talk about Trump, coronavirus, then Entertainment Tonight.
6:30-8:30 p.m. – iPad games with friends, then curl up next to Mom to watch a silly network program about mini-golf.
8:30-9:30 p.m. – Bedtime-ish.