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100_0029Late May is always a bittersweet time for our family. This year, it is especially complicated. May 31, 2006 is the day that our first child, Maxwell, was born. We lost Max nearly three months later to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Every year since, we have celebrated our son’s birthday by looking at his pictures, putting flowers on his gravesite, and releasing a couple of blue and white balloons.

I have mixed feelings about the balloons. Letting them go and watching them turn into tiny specks against the blue sky seems almost too similar to how we have had to let go of Max. I guess that is also what makes the balloon release such a perfect gesture.

This month, we are also celebrating the release of my book, A Plot for Pridemore. The novel, which I finished writing in the months after Max’s death, is dedicated to him.
A couple of months ago, when A Plot for Pridemore was first posted on BarnesandNoble.com, I couldn’t help but notice that the publication date listed for the book was May 31.

Is it coincidence that my book is coming out around Max’s birthday, or is there something else at work? I wish I knew.

Happy birthday, Max. We miss you.